Modernize Me
by hanaii
Summary: What happens when you take one Eren Yeager and throw him hundreds of years into the future? Chaos. That's what happens.
1. You Have 1 New Message

woah, so it's been like, three years since I updated this story.

and since I highly doubt anyone waited that long for an update, we'll just pretend it's new and shiny.

 _anyways_. I apologize in advance if Eren seems out of character in the story, I'm not very good at writing in pre-made character's POV.

ALSO. _(so much talking, I know)_ don't be surprised of you see some plot holes because I suck at writing, so keep in mind that I'm not a professional writer, okay? _I'm just doing this for entertainment and fun._

 **tags/warnings:** time travel, modern!AU, mild cursing _(but let's be honest, no one cares)_ , mild angst, probably a lot of OOCness

yeah, not a lot to be concerned about. okay, so.

onto the story.

* * *

" _So_ , what exactly do you need me for?"

Eren fidgeted with his shoulder strap in anticipation as Hanji sterilized needles and containers. She had been excessively busy as of late, and when she had called him in, he could have sworn there was a glint in her eye. A quick survey of the room revealed piles of books and scattered papers, evidence of her work, and being the typical curious adolescent, Eren leaned over to skim the front covers.

 _"Physics of the Impossible."_

 _"Philosophe Naturalis Principia Mathematica."_

 _"The Balance of Time and-"_

"Alright!" came Hanji's overly cheerful voice, causing Eren to snap back to attention. She was practically glowing as she nearly skipped over to Eren, waving her hand in the direction of a nearby chair. "Please, do take a seat, Eren!" she smiled.

The teen hesitantly obeyed, lowering himself slowly into was he feared would be his resting place. "You still haven't answered me," he reminded, folding his arms across his chest impatiently. This time she appeared to have heard him, turning her wide eyes on him and beaming.

"Oh, well, recently I've become rather invested in a new study, and since you are the only one I was able to find with free time, I wanted to try a little something," she hummed, pulling out a ominous looking syringe.

"Something?" Eren pressed, tilting away from her marginally.

"It's an, uh, _experiment_ of sorts, you might say," Hanji explained, and suddenly Eren understood why everyone was telling him to avoid Hanji as much as possible when she's being unusually lively. "Took a while to gather everything I needed, a few months in fact, but now I can finally test it out-"

"Uh, _wait_ ," Eren flinched, holding up a hand, "This is safe, right? I won't get a disease or... _explode_ or something?"

The squad leader blinked for a moment before huffing out a laugh, "Eren, I wouldn't endanger your life like that!" she said, clasping his hand in her own, "I just want to do this one test, okay? All you have to do is tell me how you're feeling and I'll write it down."

He took a second to consider his options, but Hanji's near death grip made running impossible, so he merely sighed and gave a sharp nod.

Hanji squealed and leaped back, and even her repeated _'thank you'_ s and promised favors weren't enough to settle his agitated nerves. He exhaled roughly and stuck out his arm when instructed to, willing his body to relax and accept it's untimely fate. Hanji promised it would be fine, no need to be so jumpy.

"Relax, Eren," she consoled. "This isn't even supposed to work the first time, so you'll be fine."

Well. Not relaxed anymore.

Hanji cleansed the surface of his skin before bringing the needle up close and personal, pausing once before piercing his skin and injecting foreign fluids. Eren hissed, clenching his teeth together. Whatever it was, it burned like a bitch.

"All done!" Hanji chirped, taking a step back. Both parties stared at one another for a minute, Hanji with a notebook in hand and Eren rubbing his arm anxiously, before Hanji spoke up.

"Anything?" She sounded hopeful, but Eren still felt like himself, a bit hungry, but that might be because he skipped breakfast this morning. "No, nothing," he replied.

A thud resounded in the small room as Hanji collapsed dramatically to the floor, clutching her notebook and wailing, "No _way_! Everything was done accordingly, how could this _happen_? Such a downer!" Eren debated if he should try to comfort the distraught veteran, but before he could decide, she had already recovered, bouncing back to her feet and heaving a loud sigh.

"Ah, well, no use in crying over it, eh, Eren?" she concluded. "Guess I'll just have to keep trying." Hanji tossed the unused journal onto a neighboring table and began cleaning up the remains of the attempted experiment. Unsure of whether he was allowed to leave, Eren remained seated for a while before clearing his throat.

Hanji looked up and gasped a bit. "Oh, my bad! You're free to go."

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes and stood up casually, testing the waters, and when everything seems to be functioning accordingly, started towards the entry. He wondered what they would be serving for lunch, but that was deemed as unimportant as his legs suddenly gave out and the floor was rushing up to him.

Then it went dark, and he didn't think anymore.


	2. You Have 2 New Messages

so I decided to add more to the plot, because I like conflict and causing problems.

but again, if you're like "this doesn't make any sense," I apologize, 15% of this is like pulled out of my ass.

 **edit 6/28/16:** oml I thought ivory meant "black" but it wAS WHITE DAMMIT. but, it's fixed now so, yeah. not white hair, black.

* * *

Soap.

That's the first thing Eren thought of as he began to stir. The scent reminded him of cool, afternoons in early autumn when his mother was hanging out the laundry to dry.

He would sit and watch her, enjoying the occasional breeze that rustled the sheets and his hair, laughing as one sheet accidentally got caught up in the wind and tried to drift away and he chased after it. His mother's radiant smile as he brought it back and she rewarded him with a pat on his head and an amused _"thank you, Eren."_

It felt nostalgic, redolent. He almost didn't want to open his eyes and extract himself from the comforting daze, but he began to recognize his environment.

What he imagined would be grass under him felt softer and more pact, resembling a rougher version of cotton. As he recalled previous events, he could have sworn Hanji's work room had wooden flooring.

Odd.

Eren found himself purposely keeping his eyes closed as the aura of bliss was overtaken by apprehension, causing his defensive mode to kick into gear. He automatically reached for his weaponry only to find that he hadn't taken them with him, leaving him vulnerable to the situation. _Damn_.

The brunette took a second to think, maybe he was overreacting. Perhaps when he passed out— _dammit_ , Hanji—he was moved to a separate room for recovery?

Eren opened his eyes.

He then immediately shut them.

Open.

Close.

Open.

 _What the fuck_.

Eren bolted upright and crouched into an opposing position, instantly on guard. This was not Hanji's office. It wasn't the infirmary. In fact, it wasn't familiar in any sense, alien in virtually every way. Was he captured? Impossible, who could have taken him without anyone noticing them? Additionally, he wasn't even bound or locked up.

So, what the _fuck_ is going on?

He crept around what strongly mirrored a couch—at least some things are familiar—and glanced around for people, enemies, anyone. He vaguely regarded that the earlier smell had gotten more prominent and looked behind him to find a glass jar... cup, thing... with something blue half melted, half solid in it, lit by a flame.

It was a candle? No, a bit different than the ones he had seen. Usually they were white sticks, and he's fairly sure they never had a soap-like odor. Curiosity won over cautiousness and Eren hobbled over to the object set on a table. This close, the scent was almost overwhelming, making him cough slightly before he covered his mouth, careful not to let anyone know he was conscious.

Examining the unusual candle discovered there was words on the jar that read, _"YANKEE CANDLE - FRESH COTTON"_ accompanied with white flowers. Cotton. So, that explains the smell. Eren was startled out of his mentality when the sound of footsteps above him became apparent, and he noted with horror that there were stairs.

Panic settled in and he hastily scrambled for a hiding place, coming up empty handed until he chose the curtains. Now surrounded by darkness, he could only wait and have confidence that whoever it was would be enough of an idiot to not detect him.

Yeah, he's a goner.

Eren tensed as he heard the lightweight footfall reach the last step and stroll casually away from him. He was so stunned that the spot actually worked that he just about missed the sound of a door closing. It was now or never.

The curtain was pushed away and Eren gave a quick scan of the area to be sure it was clear before searching for an exit. However, he found it painfully difficult to not get distracted by so many unknown objects, and one particular piece. It looked to be a light—or several lights—hanging from the ceiling that dangled _crystals_. It was beautiful, and also distracting as it seemed, as this is how Eren wound up tripping on a rug and dragged at least three things crashing to the floor along with him. He wouldn't have been surprised if every titan in existence had heard him.

So, hearing a door burst open was expected. Eren leaped to his feet and spun around—

A girl with long ebony hair emerged from the entryway, standing opposite to him, her eyes expanded and mouth slightly open, frozen where she stood. There was a stare off for what might have been several minutes or seconds, then he watched as the stranger's jade irises darted towards a resting knife on a table, too close for comfort, and then back to Eren.

"W-Wait a sec—" Eren tried, but the girl had already snatched the blade up and held it out, threatening to cut.

" _What are you doing in my house?_ " Green-eyes demanded harshly, causing Eren's brain to stutter to a halt.

" _Me_?" he returned, tone incredulous. "I don't even know how I got here, you're the suspicious one here!"

Her hold on the knife wavered fractionally before tightening again. She began walking sideways to a counter, keeping Eren in her line of vision, and picked up something. " _I'm_ not the one standing in random people's houses and breaking their shit, so yeah, I think you're the questionable one here," she sneered.

Damn, that did sound logical, but Eren was abashed, distressed, and pissed off. He still had no idea what was going on and he needed answers. "Okay, look," he inched forward, but then backpedaled when Green-eyes fucking _growled at him_ , "Look... I really don't have any idea why I'm here, alright? I blacked out and woke up here, I swear."

At her disbelieving stare, he spread out his arms and turned in a quick circle. "No weapons, see? Search me if you want, but there's nothing there," he offered, dropping his limbs and huffing out a breath in exasperation.

The girl remained silent for a beat, then gingerly edged over to Eren, dagger still pointed at him as she commanded, "Sit down over there and don't move, or _will_ slice your jugular."

He didn't doubt it.

He did as told and flopped onto a rather comfy sofa and observed as the foreigner eyed him from head to toe. There was a long interval as he waited for her to finish whatever practice she was doing, and then he must have passed some sort of test because she sighed heavily and sat down across from him, setting the knife down next to her in favor of crossing her arms.

"My doors are still locked, so are my windows, and there's no sign of forced entry," she began, brows knitted together in befuddlement. "So, how the hell did you get in here?"

"I told you, I keeled over and when I woke up I was laying on your weird floor, smelling your weird candle, and freaking the fuck out," Eren said. Her face contorted into something like defensiveness for a second before returning to it's normal expression.

"Alright. Do you know your _name_?" the girl asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yes, I think I'd know my own goddamn name," was Eren's irritated response. Lucky, he found a sarcastic one.

"Okay, damn. Just asking, since you obviously don't know shit."

Even better, sarcastic _and_ a bitch.

Before Eren could announce this, she trailed on. "So? What's your name, Mr. Man?"

He considered saying _"Sir None of Your Fucking Business,"_ but that would probably end with steel through his cornea.

"Eren Yeager."

She gave a hum of acknowledgment. "Leia Sayomi."

Silence then settled across the room as information was being processed, and Eren had a sudden epiphany.

"Uh, where are we?" he asked, and watched as the girl—Leia—regarded him with uneasiness.

"Uh. Japan? Kumagaya, Japan? Man, how hard did you party last night?"

Eren didn't even know where to start on how confounding that sentence was. One thing's for sure, he needed to get back home. Mikasa was probably breaching the walls looking for him, or a titan might break the wall again...

That thought sent a jolt of anxiety through him and he was on his feet in an instant, the motion causing Leia to blanch and return her hand to the knife.

"I need to go back home, now!" he announced.

"But I was enjoying your company so much," Leia deadpanned, standing up along with him.

"I'm serious," Eren said. "If another titan breaks through Wall Maria and I'm not there to fix it, more people will die!"

A pause.

"Dude, uh, I don't know how to break this to you, but RPG games aren't a real thing."

"RP—what?" Eren said, bewildered, "Never mind that, what district are we in? Mitras? It sure would seem like it, with all this expensive looking shit." Perhaps the injection Hanji had given him caused memory loss? Though he couldn't fathom as to why he would be in the royal district, he didn't have many other leads to go by at the moment.

Leia opened her mouth, closing it again before deciding to speak her thoughts. "M-Mitras? _What_...?"

"No? Ehrmich then? I've never been through Wall Sina but it would probably look similar to this." Eren pondered, eyes skimming his surroundings in thought. When he noticed the lack of witty comments, he turned his gaze to Leia, who was staring with squinted eyes and a slack jaw. She must have realized it herself since she abruptly perked up, clapping her hands together loudly.

"Yes, well! Uh, before you go on your way, how about I give you some food for your, uh... long journey back?" she offered, sounding a bit strained. But, Eren wasn't one to turn down a meal of any sorts, so he gave a curt nod and watched the girl awkwardly shuffle off.

Eren sighed in exhaustion and plopped back into his assigned seat. He allowed his mind to wander, thinking about the strange girl he just met. It was perplexing how it appeared as if she had no idea what he was talking about, then again, maybe her parents raised her without explaining the cruel reality about the Walls and districts. The action was understandable, but he couldn't shake the rising outrage of someone living in the lap of luxury while not bothered by the fact that others suffered, fighting for their lives every day.

But, you can never judge a book by it's cover, as his mother used to say. What was taking her so long anyways? It's been—

The sound of a sharp crack followed by agonizing pain happened in the blink of an eye, and as his vision began to darken for the second time that day, Eren was reminded about how much he _fucking_ hated his life.


	3. You Have 3 New Messages

sorry this took so long to post, I get procrastinated like a moth drawn to light.

* * *

"Was the intruder violent in anyway, Miss Sayomi?"

The adolescent lingered on the question, recalling previous events. She eventually raised her shoulders and replied, "Not really. More confused than anything."

The officer, Mr. Moreau, raised a brow and hummed, scratching down something onto the notebook he held. "Well, the chances are that he could be mentally disturbed, since he showed signs of amnesia, but we won't know for sure until the psychiatrists look him over."

Leia bobbed her head in understanding, shoving her hands into her hoodie pockets and glancing over to where an unconscious 'Eren' was being manhandled onto a stretcher. Maybe she shouldn't have banged his head so hard, but better this than having to deal with a possible outrage when he figured out she had called the police. A barely there feeling twinged in the back of her mind that felt a lot like guilt, though that wasn't an uncommon feeling for her, so she simply tucked it away as usual.

The clearing of a throat regained her attention and she turned back to Mr. Moreau, who was still staring at the notepad, but not writing anything. He wore a troubled expression and Leia immediately knew where this was going. He opened his mouth, but she beat him to it.

"Everything's fine, you don't have to worry so much about me, okay?" she interrupted. "It's been two years, now. If I'm not used to it now, I never will be."

The elder man exhaled softly, the action causing a fog to appear from the frigid morning air, nodding his head. "I know, hun, I know. I just worry about you, since you're here all the time by your lonesome. I mean, just look at what happened today. You know, the offer is still open if you ever want to-"

Leia vigorously shook her head, holding up a hand to cut him off. "I appreciate the thought, Mr. Moreau, I really do. But this is my home, and this is where I'm staying," she stated, running her fingers through her hair. "Besides, you've already done so much for me, keeping me from going to juvie and all. Not to mention all those fruit baskets you keep sending me every month, like I'll actually eat them."

She chuckled when the deputy gave her a disapproving look. He had always condemned her eating habits, but they weren't changing anytime soon.

A couple beats passed where nothing else was said, then another officer signaled Mr. Moreau that it was time to leave. He brought Leia in for a quick hug, muttering, "You're a sweet girl, hun. I only wish other people could see that," before letting go and heading towards a group of fellow policemen.

She took that as her cue to depart as well, turning on her heels and bounding up the five steps to her porch and taking one last peek at the ambulance doors shutting before heading inside.

It was still early dawn, the sunlight grazing the horizon and casting a faint glow across suburban rooftops. Looking at the clock told her it was exactly as early as she thought, 5:47 AM. Really she had no reason to be awake at this hour, considering it was Saturday and her winter break had begun yesterday, though it was most likely out of pure habit.

Leia shuffled into the kitchen, face scrunching up when her bare feet met cold tiles, and opened the fridge. Inside it was barren, minus a few leftovers and drinks, and she added to her mental list to go grocery shopping soon. She grabbed the orange juice and drank straight from the carton. It wasn't like anyone else was going to drink out of it.

Her eyes caught sight of the decorative calendar hanging on the wall, colorful and almost child-like, but she bought it anyways because she needed one and it was on sale for fifty cents. December 25th was surrounded by candy canes and presents, jolly old Saint Nick in the center of the small square.

 _Stupid._

She placed the drink back in it's place, almost throwing it, and suddenly felt tired. Having nothing else planned for today, she climbed the stairs to her room and crawled onto the mattress. Her eyes slid shut, welcoming the unconsciousness that took over.

A sort of routine settled in, and she went through the next few days almost in a daze. Groceries were bought, bills were paid, chores were done. It was the normal for her, and she had easily forgotten about the indecent prior.

Wednesday, after a morning run, she dropped onto the sofa and turned on the TV, switching to the news channel. She normally avoids any sort of media channel, since they tended to feed off of gossip and rumors, and really just bad things in general, but halfway through her jog, she heard approaching sirens and police cars hastily passed by, too many for comfort. Leia figured if it was big enough, it would be reported on the news, and sure enough, it was.

A woman dressed formally and wore a stern expression was reporting about another homicide that police believe was another victim of a recent serial killer; also known as "The Shredder". Everyone and their mother's mother knew about the recent mass killings that have been happening for the past 3 months, coming up to a total of 29 deaths as of today. The nickname was born after numerous bodies were found in several pieces, making a few of the victims nearly unrecognizable.

Though you would assume everyone would be in hysteria in this event, a surprising amount of people actually treat it as some type of campfire story used to spook your friends. At school you would hear girls and guys alike snickering to each other, saying, "I wouldn't go to that party tonight if I were you, _The Shredder_ is probably going to be lurking about," and their laughs and squeals would echo through the halls. How this whole ordeal was amusing, Leia would never know.

What made Leia so uneasy was the fact that the killer didn't seem to have any objective. There was no gender or age preference, so they couldn't be labeled as some perverted sicko. The targets weren't all rich nor all poor, making money not the issue either. Despised people, adored ones, healthy, unhealthy, gorgeous, unattractive, it didn't matter in the least what type of person you were, or what you did, there was a chance that you were next.

The sound of a squeaky toy brought her back to her current setting, making her reach over to pick up her cell phone from the coffee table. She should probably change that message tone soon, it was beginning to grate on her nerves.

She unlocked her phone, seeing that she had received a message from Mr. Moreau.

 _Officer Ojiisan: r u ok?_

 _You: yeah I'm good, just watched the news, how about u?_

 _Officer Ojiisan: i've seen better days. keep ur doors locked ok hun?_

 _You: I know, I'm not an idiot, contrary to popular belief_

 _Officer Ojiisan: ok ok miss i'll stick my tongue to the frozen pole to spite u_

Leia choked on a gulp of tea, coughing furiously.

 _You: that was one time and I was 13 please let me live_

 _Officer Ojiisan: haha well i've got to get back to work. see u later kiddo, stay safe_

 _You: I will, later_

She smiled fondly and tossed the mobile back onto the table and tuned her attention back to the television, hoping for something other than doom and gloom.

 _"-olice are still investigating this perplexing case. We will continue to keep you updated when further evidence is found. In similar news, police are still on the look out for an escaped mental patient that may be hostile-"_

The screen blinked to black as Leia pressed to power button on the remote, sighing in exasperation. "Damn, and people say I'm a Negative Nancy," she mumbled, standing and raising her arms up to stretch. Checking the clock declared that it was already half past noon, she still hadn't eaten since last night and it seemed her stomach was not happy about the abuse.

She pulled on a loose thread on her jeans in thought. Maybe she could go out this time instead of being tucked away for the whole winter break. Socializing wasn't really her thing, that was more up her brother's alley, but the weather is decent today, so, why not? Grabbing her keys and wallet, Leia slipped on a pair of worn out converses and headed out.


End file.
